I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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