kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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