It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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