kristin has been a bad kristin
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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