It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
