you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
