I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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