Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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