last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
