i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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