I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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