Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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