And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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