i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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