Banned from zoo.
Again?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
