Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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