I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
