Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
