my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize