it's like iHOP with fire
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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