you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
