the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
