so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
