Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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