I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
