She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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