Me. At least after what I've been through.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
