she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize