and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
