That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
