I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
