i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
