You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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