Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
