remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
