Can i not drive my cunt home
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
