I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
