the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
