Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
