I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
