we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
