Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
