i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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