You really coming over, don't trick.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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