what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
