Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
