he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
