Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she peed on how many people?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize