party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
