And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
