Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
