My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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