no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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