you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
