i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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