I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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