Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
