My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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