if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
