i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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